I love a good present. For me, that means receiving something you want or need, without asking for it.
For example, when your boss says, "you're doing a good job." Or when a friend says, "you're important to me." These are gifts.
Receiving internal insights such as seeing the good in someone who did something bad. Or receiving a deep inhale of breath, exhaling and knowing you are grounded in the moment are also presents. They are where you right now.
Since presents, the gifts you receive and having the centered moments of being here now, are fun, I crafted this carnival to reflect these presents.
First, there are the bloggers who took the deep inhale of breath, exhaled and wrote about their present states.
Second were the bloggers who gave their writing to each of us, to guide us toward leading practices, and to help us reaffirm our roles. These folks gave us solid advice. Yet they gave us other gifts as well....
On December 21st, the Carnival of HR is making its last stop of 2011 at Welcome To The Occupation.
For this carnival, I am inspired by Oogway's wise words to Po, "There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the 'present'."*
Since the new year is upon us and it is typically a time to reflect on the past year's achievements and next year's potentials, I want to do something different.
For the carnival, bloggers have two choices.
1) Send me a post about where you are right now. What is your current state in your job, at home, with family, with friends, your philosophies, your blog, a list of favorite foods, songs, or books. It doesn't matter. Tell me who you are today.
or
2) Send me a post not based on the above theme and I will determine what type of gift it is. Maybe it'll be a toy, like a slinky. Maybe it'll be a new pair of ruby slippers. Or maybe it'll be a pony. Of course, you can prevent me from labeling your post by sending me your own suggestion.
It doesn't matter which path you choose. Either one will be a gift.
"So you’re one of those,” said the flight attendant.
Tired and focused on claiming my favorite seat on the airplane, these words sounded blithe to me.
Apologetically, I mumbled about my favorite airplane seat as the flight attendant quickly removed her backpack from my desired seat and forced it behind the seat opposite me.
Feeling apathetic to her plight, I wondered if she perceived her comment as off-putting to me. I thought perhaps she did. Because soon after I sat, she heard my nasal congested sniffling and offered me a box of kleenex. I thought this was her mea culpa for her earlier sarcasm. Moments later when she brought me a vodka and orange juice and did not ask for money, I thought this was another mea culpa. That was dashed when she came back a half-hour later for my credit card.
Frankly, I have no idea what she was communicating to me.
But isn't life, and work, funny that way?
For instance, as an HR person, the policies I write are either too detailed for some people, or too short for others. Or I have included too many people in the loop, or I have left someone out. Or, I'm either too employee-focused, or too employer-focused. It is hard to always hit that middle-ground. It simply depends on the recipient's opinion.
It also depends on how well you are tapping.
I'm currently reading "Made To Stick" by Chip & Dan Heath, and they sited an interesting study about tappers and listeners.
"In 1990, Elizabeth Newton, a Stanford University graduate student in psychology assigned people to one of two roles: “tapper” or “listener.” Each tapper was asked to pick a well-known song, such as “Happy Birthday,” and tap out the rhythm on a table. The listener’s job was to guess the song.
Over the course of Newton’s experiment, 120 songs were tapped out. Listeners guessed only three of the songs correctly: a success ratio of 2.5%. But before they guessed, Newton asked the tappers to predict the probability that listeners would guess correctly. They predicted 50%. The tappers got their message across one time in 40, but they thought they would get it across one time in two.
When a tapper taps, it is impossible for him or her to avoid hearing the tune playing along to their taps. Meanwhile, all the listener can hear is a kind of bizarre Morse code. Yet the tappers were flabbergasted by how hard the listeners had to work to pick up the tune.
The problem is that once we know something—say, the melody of a song—we find it hard to imagine not knowing it. We have difficulty sharing it with others, because we can’t readily re-create their state of mind."*
And this who we are as HR. We are tappers.
We are not the only tappers in our organizations. However, we write detailed policies with acronyms of which we are most familiar. We are the ones that have to convince others there is a loop of people who need to know.
We are the ones that have to tap to the employees, the employer song that's in our head. and We are the ones that have to tap to the employer, the employee song that's also in our head.
Either way, it's not always easy to communicate. I know I fail sometimes. I like to think I succeed most of the time. I like to think the song I'm tapping is understood by all.
However, when I fail, I know to offer more than a box of kleenex. I buy them a drink too. Don't let me be misunderstood. I am speaking metaphorically, of course.
*Text source: "The Curse of Knowledge" Chip & Dan Heath, HBR.org, December 2006
On a flight to Chicago last Sunday, I did something I have never done before. I talked to the stranger next to me for the entire two-and-a-hour flight.
Perhaps it is a childhood fear, but I do not talk to strangers when there is no available exit in sight. This is especially true on airplanes because most conversation starters want to share their disgust with flying. Sorry folks. I like flying and I don’t care about your problems with it.
Nevertheless, on this recent flight, we waxed endlessly on the topics of workplace management, employee engagement, culture, assessment, the effects of leisure, neuroscience, and the book, “Flow”
From this conversation, came two memorable quotes from my companion.
“No offense, but you don’t talk like other HR folks.”
How could I take offense from that? I was proud that this gentleman with forty years in HR experiences put me in a category of exception. I made the point of saying I was on my way to meet up with similar folks in Chicago (#TNL) and I often travel to converge with my similarly natured clan.
The other quote was:
“I picked up on what you said before and I am OK with your alternative lifestyle.”
Knowing he was intending to be kind about my homosexuality in lieu of his heterosexuality, and because we’d already shared some laughs, I replied, “It’s not an alternative to me. And just so you know, I’m OK with yours too.”
Why I Am On Planes
In 2011, I traveled six times to points West and South from Philadelphia to converge with my HR clan at conferences. Three of those occasions were to attend an 'unconference' style conference, such as, Talent Net Live in Chicago last Monday.
I don’t enjoy everything about the 'unconference' style. However, I do like the organic nature of them. There is greater sensibility that knowledge is relative and relatedness is a key to learning. Plus, it keeps a keen eye on the nature of all of the participants.
People invest time in their conversations before, during and after an 'unconference'. As a result, some great relationships develop over the years.
Thinking of the warning words of John Jorgensen regarding echo chambers, I realize there is that risk. However, there is greater chance that the messages of empowerment streaming through these settings have a different impact. Instead of ‘unconference’ redundancy, we all return home and put into action ideas of improvement professionally and personally. We return to the next convergence brighter and challenging each other to go to the next levels of development.
Talent Net Live Challenges
Talent Net Live for me was about those challenges. Here is the highpoints of those challenges:
Me, given my first opportunity to present to experts in recruiting and HR, worked for weeks to ensure content and delivery were the best I could give.
Me, challenging said experts in my session to keep it simple, forget about internal engagement, and be smart about what you can control.
John Sumser posing the challenging notions of thinking locally in a global market.
Matt Charney challenging us to view social media outlets as a means to enhance your diversity and inclusion efforts.
Elizabeth Lalli-Rees challenging us to walk the fine lines between compliance, flexibility and realistic work/play balances* when developing social media policies.
Dan Arkind challenging us to operate the selection process more methodically and strategic.
Jason Seiden with Craig Fisher challenging us to revise LinkedIn profiles in the simplest of ways to maximize the ability to truly connect on LinkedIn.
And Jason Seiden, alone, enlightening us to notions of profersonal. Reminding us all when we view life as the opposite of work, we’re associating work with death. This is why I’m now calling it *work/play balance.
What Alternative?
It is this notion that work is not death that lead me to think, perhaps I do have an alternative lifestyle.
Because I assume most people view work as death, and I don’t, that’s an alternative lifestyle.
Because I think most HR people don’t utilize enough of their inherent power to influence change, and I do, that’s an alternative lifestyle.
Because I think most HR folks are content with their local network, but I am not and I travel frequently to be with my HR clan, that too is an alternative lifestyle.
Or are they?
Nevertheless, the great thing about alternative lifestyles is every once in awhile someone acknowledges it. Either they acknowledge you are not like everybody else, or they note their OK with your difference.
What's great is when you do not see it as an alternative lifestyle. You simply see it as your life.
My name is Paul Smith and I am an HR Director for a non-profit in Philadelphia. I have been in human resources for over 12 years. I worked in a generalist capacity in wholesale, nursing, and banking before I landed in my current position. I love where I work, and I love the work my organization does.
My HR philosophy is: people are complex; work is hard; so keep it as simple as you can.
Contact me by email: pasmuz88@gmail.com
Disclaimer
This site is intended as a forum only for my viewpoints on Human Resources-related topics. These opinions certainly may change over the course of time due to societal norms and national, state & local legislative actions. This site is also not intended to be inflammatory; defamatory to any person, group of people, organization or business; to incite an over-emotional reaction; or to choose one political party affiliation over another. The opinions that I express are only my own; I do not speak for the organization that employs me in this forum.
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