In lieu of the unenthusiastic response to my last post, I thought for my next post, I would write something different. I spent my evenings last Monday and Tuesday toiling away at it, tweaking this, tweaking that, until it was complete and ready to be published.
As soon as I was done, and I re-read it one last time before pressing "publish" I had a last minute change of heart. Despite that the piece was light-hearted, cute and funny, I could not do it. The post was written as an open letter to Curtis Midkiff about including HR bloggers in SHRM's HR Magazine. However, it was racier, more gratuitous than anything I had done before.
To get a second opinion and to find out if I was over sensitive, I asked my partner to read it. He neither confirmed my suspicions nor helped relieve my anxiety. Hence, after further consternation, I decided the post would be vanquished to the unreleased archives forever.
What a disappointment and a relief.
It was a disappointment because I think it would have been a popular post. It was funny and it wasn’t a laugh at someone’s expense. It was a relief because I was predicting it would have been offensive to some people, and I kept wondering, what impression would I have been leaving of myself?
Since I acquired my new role at work as a Director, I have to admit, I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis with this blog. Before the change, this blog had a major undertone of, “Ooh, ooh, ooh, look at me!” Now that my work has changed, I have greater responsibilities. I feel now that I have a greater responsibility with this blog as well. Though I'm not sure why.
I know with blogging everyone takes their chances. You write it, press publish, and it's out there for better or for worse. That notion is weighing on me more than ever before. I still want to take risks. However I want them to be smart risks.
Unfortunately, I don’t know where my new lines are drawn. My thoughts are changing about HR and as a result the writing is off and harder than usual. My thoughts are cloudy. My fingers are achy. My head hurts. It feels like I'm losing my voice. It’s like the onset of a cold when you have just a sore throat. It’s minor right now. But it feels like it could go full blown and linger for the next two weeks.
Geez, I hope not. I hate having a cold.