Saturday Night Live produced that skit many years ago and I think about it every time I'm faced with the prospect of visiting Las Vegas. I think if I die and go to Hell, my hell will be to relive my last hours in Vegas for eternity.
In the late 90's, I was there for a video distribution conference. It was my first time in Vegas and I was quickly disgusted. I tried to like it on my downtime, but to no avail. Thus, when the conference came to close at Noon, I decided to take my book, head to the airport and wait for my five o'clock flight. This is where it went straight to hell.
The gate areas were small from what I remember. Once you're in, you're in with nowhere else to go. And the seats were uncomfortable.
My flight was delayed until 9:30 p.m.
There were slot machines in the gate areas that repeatedly beeped and made noise.
Thus, for NINE hours, I had to listen to a slot machine every 30 seconds announce as they do on the TV show ... "Wheel! ... Of! ... Fortune!"
By the time I got on the airplane, I felt like you do when you're lying in bed after a day at an amusement park. Even though you're in bed, when you close your eyes, your equilibrium is still shook up and telling your brain, you're on a rollercoaster. Similarly,"Wheel Of Fortune!" rang in my ears all the way home. I was in Hell.
This was the cherry on the cake of my visit and I vowed to never return.
Ten years plus have passed and I'm faced with breaking this promise to myself. This Sunday, I'm headed to Vegas for SHRM's 2011 Annual Conference & Exposition.
Despite this self-betrayal, I have no regrets about breaking this promise. This is my first trip to what is commonly called "annual." Even though I have traveled to assorted HR conferences across the land, this is the big daddy of them all. The resources here are as vast as they are wide.
Hence, beginning early Monday through to Wednesday morning, I'll be writing blog posts, tweeting relevant stuff, and foursquaring my every step. Frankly, I think I'll be too busy to notice I'm in a town that scares me. My itinerary is completely full and at some points, a coin toss will be necessary to choose which direction to go.
See for yourself:
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Interplay Between Reasonable Accommodations and Medical Leaves: Legal and Practical Implications
7:00 AM - 8:15 AM
Call to Action: Employment of People with Disabilities
7:00 AM - 8:15 AM
General Session with Arianna Huffington
8:30 AM - 9:45 AM
Please Sue Me 2011
10:45 AM - 12:00 PM
Nine Minutes On Monday - The Quick and Easy Way to Turn Managers into Leaders
10:45 AM - 12:00 PM
Lunch in the SHRM Exposition
12:00 PM - 1:30 PM
10 Things You Should Be Doing In Compensation
2:00 PM - 3:15 PM
Next Next Generation HR: Sustainable Performance, Agile Strategies
2:00 PM - 3:15 PM
Privacy Issues in the Workplace
4:00 PM - 5:15 PM
Strategic Selection Based on Emotional Intelligence
4:00 PM - 5:15 PM
EBIT-Duh! Finance for the HR Professional
4:00 PM - 5:15 PM
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The Five Hidden Forces that Prevent Leadership Growth
7:00 AM - 8:15 AM
Lighten Up! Daily Strategies to a Lighter, Healthier Workplace
7:00 AM - 8:15 AM
General Session with Tony Hsieh
8:30 AM - 9:45 AM
Communicating About Compensation with Employees & Leaders
10:45 AM - 12:00 PM
Lunch in the SHRM Exposition
12:00 PM - 1:30 PM
Why CFOs Hate Health Insurance Reform, and "Next Practices" for Fixing the Problem
2:15 PM - 3:30 PM
Employee Engagement: Your Tool for Tackling Health Care Costs
2:15 PM - 3:30 PM
Creating Readiness for Coaching in Organizations
4:00 PM - 5:15 PM
Self-Funded Health Plans: Managing Rising Employee Benefits Costs In Light of Health Care Reform
4:00 PM - 5:15 PM
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Closing General Session with Michael J. Fox
8:30 AM - 9:45 AM
10 Lessons For More Effective Talent Management
10:00 AM - 11:15 AM
Talent Alone Does Not Drive Performance
11:30 AM - 12:45 PM
The other thing that will keep me busy is the company I keep. Below is a list of folks I look forward to seeing during this trip. If you're not on this list, let me know you're going.
Bryan Wempen
Charlie Judy
China Gorman
Craig Fisher
Curtis Midkiff
Dave Ryan
Dawn Hrdlica
Eric Peterson
Eric Winegardner
Jason Lauritsen
Jennifer McClure
Jessica Lee
Jessica Miller-Merrell
Joan Ginsburg
John Nykolaiszyn
Kevin Grossman
Lance Haun
Laurie Ruettimann
Maren Hogan
Mary Ellen Slayter
Matt Stollack
Michael VanDervort
Nancy Slotnick
Rob Lockard
Robin Schooling
Shauna Moerke
Steve Boese
Tim Sackett
Trish McFarlane
William Tincup
Or if you're like Sharlyn Lauby, Bob Tarver or Mike Spinale, we've never met in person and we'll have to make of point of changing that.
With all of this activity and a ticket on the first flight out after the conference closes, I should be in good shape. Moreover, with a little luck and the right provisions, I should be able to keep the devil at bay and leave Las Vegas with piece of mind. Here's to wishing me the best.
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4 Comments:
Paul - I truly wish you the fortitude to weather it well. I have never been tempted to attend such a large conference, above all in LV. I don't like people enough to have them crammed down my throat at every turn and the pinging machine noises would drive me insane. If they ever have a zen conference where everyone whispers and it is in a peaceful place... see ya there =)In the meantime, I'll look forward to your social media extravaganza. Have fun! ~Karla
Whew! Sounds way too much like work. I'll be your true friend...waiting for you with a hug and glass of wine. See you soon!
I didn't know YOU were coming until reading this. Hooray! But how come none of the parties/gatherings are on this list?????? Rectify that, please.
look so forward to seeing you, paul. we shall endure together...
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