I'm Hungry

Today I had the day off from work and I am at home thinking about food. There are two reasons I am thinking about food. The first is because next week's Carnival of HR is hosted by the founder herself, EvilHRLady (a.k.a. Suzanne Lucas) and the theme is food. The second reason is because I am hungry.

You are right to think, why doesn't he just eat something instead of bothering me? It's because it's just not that simple.

First of all, it is Thursday, and I should be at work. If I was at work I would have ate by now. What I would have ate would have consisted of some type of sandwich, an orange and some grapes. I know this because this is what I eat every day when I go to work.

Secondly, the lunch I would have ate is made in the morning before I go to work. I am not a morning person. So everything I do before going to work has to be on a schedule. Making lunch is the third thing that I do after I wake up. Because thinking in the morning is not my forte, I make the same lunch everyday.

Third, there is a foot of snow outside and I do not feel like leaving the house.

Lastly, I am not allowed in my kitchen at home. There are many reasons for this. The one big reason is the kitchen is the domain of my partner. When we coupled eleven years ago this was laid down as law. Frankly, I am very OK with this. He likes to cook and I like to eat. However when he is not here, and the automated morning machine is not on, I have a tendency not to know what to do about eating.

It wasn't always this way. Before we met, I cooked and baked food all the time. I had great recipes for tuna casserole, vegetable lasagna and meatloaf, to name a few. The problem that was foreseen by my current partner is that when I cooked I made a huge mess in the kitchen. Since it was his domain, and I could not properly clean up after myself, I lost all rights to touch pots and pans.

For anyone who is thinking this story is sad, let me make this very clear. I truly love this arrangement. He is an amazing cook, and anything I have ever made, pales in comparison.

However, I am sitting here tearing through a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies instead of eating something substantial because I know if make a peanut butter sandwich, I will probably leave sticky fingerprints in places I didn't even know I was touching (which happens). Or if I make hard-boiled eggs, I will probably set egg-soaked paper towels on fire (which did happen once). And worse yet, I would not even know how to defrost anything that is in the freezer.

All of this is true. But in truth, it has not helped my predicament, which is I am hungry. I want to eat. I have an idea of what I want to eat (egg sandwich with mustard). I do not feel like making it though (there is no mustard in the house). And writing about it just draws more attention to it.

I wish I had gone to work today.