HR Halloween Special

I dreamed the other night that I had wronged another person so much it could not be forgiven. The other person happened to be a vampire. The vampire pretended to accept my apology, yet grabbed my arm and bit into it. As I watched him slowly bite, I felt no pain as the teeth went into my arm. Then I felt an icy hot feeling course through my veins. Suddenly I became a vampire myself. However, I was starving because I would not let myself feed on others.

Kind of gruesome, I know. But it reminded me of a co-worker I once knew many years ago who had disdain for me, partly because I was in HR.

The disdain stemmed from an incident I felt was minor and was no more than a misunderstanding (wronged another person). I thought it could easily be cleared up and fences would be mended. Instead I was informed by the co-worker that HR should not be part of misunderstandings (wrong could not be forgiven). I eventually surmised the co-worker saw HR as judgmental “finger pointers” and was giving me a taste of my own medicine (grabbed my arm and bit into it). I remember feeling stunned by this (I watched him slowly bite, I felt no pain) because I did not think the misunderstanding was anymore than just that. After my attempt to mend failed, things were never the same between me and this co-worker. They treated me coldly from then on (an icy hot feeling coursed through my veins).

It frustrated me that I was unable to build the bridge back. This led to feeling a little angry with my previous co-worker and a little unforgiving (I became a vampire myself). I knew this was wrong. I was an adult and more importantly I was supposed to be an HR pro. In reality, the incident and the resulting aftermath of bad feelings were minor. I could not let minor inconveniences turn me into a hateful person (I would not let myself feed on others).

Since that time, years have passed, jobs have changed and I never saw that person again. As I recall the dream and the incident, it is clear the lesson I learned from this. No matter how much someone tries to suck the life out of you, it is not proper to do the same in return.

Whatever's Written In Your Heart

Imagine you need to make a huge change to your life.

Maybe it is starting a family, getting a different job, or moving to another house. Maybe it is quitting your job, leaving everyone you know behind to go camping in Nepal. For each of us, huge is relative.

Think for three seconds about this change that you really, really need.

Think now that before you are allowed to go forward with this huge change, you need to have six months of psychiatric treatment. After which, you will see a physician every two weeks for the next year. During these appointments, you will be given hormone injections that change your appearance and your behavior. Lastly, before you can make this change, you will need to pretend that you have already made this change by dressing the part.

*Waking Up Here On A Rainy Day*

My huge change is I need to move from our condo building. However, because of the mortgage situation, this is not a wise financial decision. Still, if I wanted to move forward, I could call a real estate agent, put the house up, sell it and probably go bankrupt. I can do all of this without psychiatric visits, injections and pretending to be living somewhere else beforehand. Even though I need this big change, I do not have to go through all of that. My ability to make this decision has none of these restrictions. I imagine that your huge change does too.

However, if you are a transsexual and if the huge change you need is sex reassignment surgery, it does require the psychiatric treatments, the hormone injections, and living the part beforehand.

I hope you know this already. I hope you know even more than this. I hope you have a deep understanding of what it is like to be transsexual. I hope this for you, because I did not. Fortunately, for me that is beginning to change. Last week at the SHRM Diversity and Inclusion Conference, I had the opportunity to meet and listen to the story of Donna Rose. Up until then, I have only met one person who had sex reassignment surgery. However, I never had any understanding of how it feels to be born the wrong gender, or the internal turmoil this causes, or how much effect this has on your family and job.

After Donna’s presentation, I was floored. I approached her, feeling flabbergasted and not knowing where to start with my questions. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, “Give me a hug”. Words do not do justice to that moment. Thinking about it now, I get goose bumps and a bit verklempt. Despite what little time Donna spent with us, telling us the bit parts of her journey, I felt like I have never met anyone who was more at peace with themselves.

*One Thing I Could Say To You*

As I mentioned, I have only known one other person who had sex reassignment surgery. I have also seen people in shops and restaurants whose gender identity is unclear to me. Despite the exposure, it was not until this point in time did the subject become humanized for me. I did not think before that it was an affliction or disease. I just had no empathy. I did not understand how complicated it was. I was also amazed about how brave Donna seemed and the altruistic nature behind her sharing.

On Donna’s website, she explains why she travels the country, providing awareness and training.

“I share my very personal journey because I have slowly come to learn that I cannot do "nothing".  My social consciousness is alive and well so I help as best I can.
I share in hopes that others who face similar struggles in their own lives will gain a sense of courage, confidence, and hope from my journey.
I share in hopes of providing a universally "human" perspective to a public that tends to formulate its views and attitudes on transsexuals based on ignorance, fear, and sensational daytime talk-show depictions.
I share in the confidence that education is the way to battle the hate and ignorance and violence that we endure just for being true to ourselves.
I share in the faith that, in a world where people are flying airplanes into buildings, perspective and reason can still shine, and that simple concepts like honesty, courage, faith, integrity, and compassion can still overcome ignorance, prejudice, and hate.
And I share with the confidence that each of us does have a role to play, and each of us can make a difference.”

If you ever have the chance to meet her, you will know this is real and she means it.

*Night And Day*

The next day after meeting Donna, I was speaking with Joe Gerstandt and Eric Peterson about how much Donna affected me. I also mentioned that it would be interesting to have Donna come to my organization and speak about her story, even though no one at work is going through this transition in his or her life. I do not remember if it was Joe or Eric who said the next words, but it hit me like a truck ...

“That you know of.”

Suddenly I realized this could be true. How would I know? Moreover, am I prepared for someone to confide his or her transsexuality? The answer was no. But I know this now and I am doing my best to get up to speed on this issue. I have been reading Donna’s book and exploring the resource links on her website.

*You’ll Find A Way To Say It All Someday*

Many of you know that most of what I write here is punctuated by some popular music reference. After I met Donna, the song “Whatever’s Written In Your Heart” by Gerry Rafferty came to mind and still floats around my head as I write this. In fact, the section titles are lyrics from the song. As with all songs, the song can be interpreted in many ways. For me, it has always meant that even though the words may not be working now, as long as they are written in your heart, they will work someday. 

The song lyric though that keeps coming back to me is, “I came down here to talk to you. I said this time I might get through.” I keep thinking the words remind me about my meeting Donna. For this subject, I needed enlightened. I needed to meet Donna Rose. I knew that my misunderstandings existed and that I needed to be taught the right words. I hope I find a way to say it all someday.

Where Were You? (Final recap of SHRM D&I Conference)

Put the emphasis on either word in that sentence, and its meaning changes. The emphasis on ‘where’ has an accusatory tone. The person asking knows you were not there but the emphasis implies you should have been. The emphasis on ‘were’ suggests the person asking knows you had somewhere else to be and is inquiring as to your location. The emphasis on ‘you’ suggests it would have been preferable if you had been there.

Asking the question again, you have a choice of how to interpret this. Since we are not face-to-face, you cannot hear the inflection in my voice or see the expression on my face. Furthermore, you have no context for me asking. The differences to these equations may interest you enough to read further. Or they may not. Either way, you encounter these differences in understanding language every day. Constantly we are interpreting language based on experience and choosing to accept that interpretation. Sometimes our choices are correct and sometimes they are not.

Other choices we make (as adults) are which learning opportunities we are going to pursue, such as which conferences we are going to attend. Of all the choices that HR professionals can make regarding what conferences to attend, only a few hundred out of approximately thousands attended the SHRM Diversity & Inclusion Conference last week in New Orleans.

There Should Have Been A Riot Goin’ On

What strikes me as odd about this is that this is a topic that is not easily defined or discussed. Therefore, it seems that it deserves a great deal more attention from HR professionals. HR professionals should be gathering in droves to listen to leading practices, consider new options and network with their peers. We should be stretching our minds around this topic and learning as much as we can.

I am not going to spend a great deal of time here bending your ear about my views on D&I. However, I will unequivocally say D&I touches every single one of us and the conference should have commanded a larger audience.

If I then again ask, where were you? What would you say?
Is it because it is SHRM conference?
Do you not see the value in discovering more about this topic?
Do you think you completely understand all the issues that surround D&I?
Do you believe all is required is meeting some legal requirements?
Do you think the topic is irrelevant to you?
Or is the subject so over your head, there is uncertainty about what to do?

Everyday People

For a recap of what occurred on the first day of the SHRM D&I Conference, you can click here to get a brief recap, and my plea for sympathy for having a cold. For the second and third day, I had the privilege of watching the mighty Joe Gerstandt do his thing talking about how innovation is born from diversity and inclusion. Also on the last days, Claire Damken Brown and Kimberly Douglas introduced me to some great ideas.

Brown’s session on Code Switching revolved around the notion that men and woman communicate differently. Code Switching provides the ability to use your knowledge of two or more cultures or languages and to switch between them, depending on the situation, in order to communicate your message. It is adaptable, ever-changing and this blending of styles gives you more options to communicate and to interpret other people’s communications more effectively.

Douglas’ session took the notion of diversity and applied it to ideas and thoughts. She made the case that teams must recognize the idea differences if they wish to have higher productivity. However, just having respect for the differences is not enough. This will not make the differences disappear. It is essential to embrace the differences and strive for what Douglas calls Creative Abrasion. To get a quick sense of this, think of how sandpaper through friction can create a smooth surface.

Leaving Douglas’ session, I felt very charged. She ended her session with a great example of teamwork: the interactive nature of animal flocks; and
with a question: what would ignite the creative juices in your organization?; and
the notion that everyone has the power to be creative, yet it is not just about thinking differently, it is about taking action and pursuing your creativity.

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

For me, the conference ended on that note: everyone has power & potential. Alma Morales Riojas, President and CEO, MANA in her closing general session complemented this with the value of mentorship and the passing of that knowledge onto others. True, D&I is about race, gender, religion and all of the other things that differentiate us from one another. More importantly, we are different from each other because we all have unique ideas and the ability to harness those differences truly propels progress. Leaving the conference, I walked away realizing that no matter how much I think I know, there is always another point of view. There is power in knowledge. However, there is even more power in the knowledge that you do not know everything, and with a diversity of knowledge there is even more power.

So, if I ask one more time, where were you, know that I understand that you may have had other commitments,
or know that I do not hold it against you,
or know that I think you are not interested in D&I.
However when it comes time to choose where you get your education next year, consider the 2011 SHRM D&I Conference in Washington D.C. October 24 to 26. You may be surprised what you will learn.

It's The Economy, Stupid (Day 1 recap of SHRM D&I Conference)

I do not know the meaning of the phrase, sick as a dog. Nevertheless I feel inclined to use the phrase to describe how I feel.

Last week, I came down with a cold that I fought hard to conquer. However by Sunday, I was still not yet over it and spent most of the day traveling to get to New Orleans for the SHRM Diversity and Inclusion conference.  By Monday morning I was feeling OK and hit the conference with full steam. By the afternoon, the steam was gone and I was running on fumes. It was about 4 p.m. and I was light-headed and flush.  All I kept thinking was I need to lay down.

I also thought I would like to be at home in my own bed, not in some slightly run-down hotel room in a city that I hardly know. In short, being a stranger in a strange land, and feeling sick, is no fun.

This leads me to the reason I'm here in the first place, the SHRM Diversity and Inclusion conference. Due to my slightly altered condition and lack of energy, I am going to make this brief.

First, I am going to say that I am duly impressed so far. The general theme is D&I is not just about doing the right thing; it is necessity for businesses in order to remain competitive for talent and revenue.  It is not just about legal anymore, it is about the legal tender.

This was clearly stated in the first session with the very energetic Sonia Aranza from Aranza Communications. Her fast-paced session covered some of the problems that prevent utilizing differences as a competitive advantage. Aranza made a solid case for the notion that the power of many differences will help an organization (and individuals) reach their goals much faster.

Aranza's point were driven home during Monday's general session with Ted Childs. Childs spoke frankly about the status of the American business world in relation to the global market and that the U.S. is quickly losing in the global market. Childs pointed to population statistics and education rankings to make this point. Outside of this, I am going to halt from saying to much more. It was clearly stated by Childs that much of his presentation was his intellectual property. Nevertheless, it was very compelling case, all in all, that we as a people and as businesses need to start putting our hate aside. If we do not, the U.S. business landscape is going to change for the worse within the next forty years.

Because I attended Aranza's session, I missed the session by Scott Warrick on emotional intelligence and tolerance. I was fortunate that after his session I wandered in and we spoke for about twenty minutes on the reasons why we work, how this affects us emotionally and physically, and how the food and mulit-media industries are profiting from an unhealthy workforce. I wish my conversation could have been recorded. It would have made a great post. I will revisit this subject in the near future.

Another topic I am going to revisit in the future is Donna Rose's session on Transgender in the Workplace. This topic and my experience at this session will definitely be the subject of a future post. There is no way I can do this session justice in a few sentences. In short, Rose's session completely changed my viewpoints and left me realizing that I have a great deal to learn about this topic.

To sum up, day one for me was very thought provoking and enlightening. I am glad I am fighting through this cold to make it through the next two days. My prize will be to sleep in my own bed. Once that happens, I am sure I will recover. As I think back on yesterday's session, I wonder if the U.S. economy is going to fight through its illness so perhaps we can get some rest and eventually recover. From the viewpoint of this conference, the solutions lie somewhere in the notions of D&I.

Back Row on an Airplane vs. A Seat at the Table

When I travel by plane by myself, I always check my bag. I hate carry-on bags. Also when I travel by plane by myself, this is where I sit....

Back row on the right side, window seat.





I do this because it is the most relaxing space on the plane.
There is more space to spread out because most people cram themselves closest to the exit door.
I'm not caught up in the drama of overhead compartments.
I'm closer to the bathroom.
And the Tasmanian Devil is not sitting behind me kicking my seat.

But looking at it from an HR viewpoint, it's the best vantage point.  I can see everything that is going on. I can see the passengers overwhelmed by their family situations. I can see the passengers with the drinking problems. I can see the passengers that cannot stay organized and have to get into their overhead bag every 15 minutes. I can also see that food and drinks are being served, call buttons are getting answered, and most importantly the plane is in the air and headed in the right direction.

I see all of this from my back seat.

So HR, what's more important: a seat at the table (where you announce I'm here now deal with me) or a backseat on the plane (taking it all in and staying out of the way while people are getting their jobs done)?

Are You Attending the SHRM Diversity & Inclusion Conference?

Next week, I'm attending the SHRM Diversity and Inclusion Conference in New Orleans, October 11-13.               

There are many reasons I'm attending. The major one is lately I've been working more closely with the subject matter and am curious what I can learn in this venue.                                                 

But conferences, I've learned over the past year, are a lot more enjoyable when there are people you know attending.

Aside from Joe Gerstandt and Eric Peterson, I don't know of anyone else who is attending. 

If you are going and you want to let me know, leave a comment...DM me on Twitter...or email me. 

If you are not attending, you can follow the back channel on Twitter #SHRM10Diversity. 

Shauna Moerke Needs A Job

There is one person who has welcomed me into the HR Blogging Community more than anyone else.  And that person is Shauna Moerke a.k.a. H.R. Minion. Even though she doesn't think of herself as a celebrity, EVERYONE knows her. And let's face it she was blogging when we were all still in diapers and she is the perfect sidekick for Steve Boese on HR Happy Hour. Imagine HR Happy Hour without that laugh. You can't.

So for everything she has done for me, I think the least I can do is devote a blog post to the fact that Shauna Moerke needs a job.

So folks, let's get the word out...tweet this, facebook it, linked on, or whatever you crazy kids are doing today to spread the word. Let's get on this.

Now here's Shauna in her own words:
"I am looking for an HR Generalist/Recruiting/Employee Relations role, would love a position that involved social media, and clearly relocation isn't a problem."

Below are links to her LinkedIn page and to a copy of her online resume.
shauna.moerke@gmail.com
LinkedIn
Google Profile
Emurse Resume

HR Tech Conference Soundtrack

Another HR conference, another city and whole other set of random songs played in my head the entire time. All my thoughts about HR Tech Conference have been published ...
What Is Not Working / Jason's Revenge / Too Many Clicks / Cool Kids

So just for fun, here's the songs that played in my head over the course of those three days.
No rhyme. No reason. No message...Just Enjoy!

XTC-"That Is The Way"

The Radio Dept.-"Never Follow Suit" (my blogger’s theme)

R.E.M.-"Ages Of You"

Genesis-"Lilywhite Lilith"

Everything But The Girl-"Lullaby Of Clubland"

What Is Not Working? (Day 3 recap of HR Tech)

The curtains come down. The tables are folded up. The conference hall is eerily quiet. And another HR Technology Conference comes to an end.

As I sit on the airplane coming home, I am reflecting on the last day of the show and on how completely exhausted I am. The last day of the show is comprised of only a quick tweet-up, one session and a closing keynote speaker. Taking into consideration the breadth of two days of sessions; a huge expo floor; after parties; compatriots galore to discuss, share, and laugh; blog posts to write; pictures to take and tweeting; I could not imagine being able to experience much more.

Before I go forward, I want to take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude for being invited to partake in this year’s conference. Thank you Bill Kutik. Thank you for taking a chance on the HR blogging community. Thank you for letting us into your house. It is a great house. I just hope we did not leave too big of a mess. And thank you to the other organizers, the presenters and the staff at the Hyatt. Putting together a conference this size is a massive undertaking. The effort put forth certainly shows and similar to last year, it was a great conference.

It Takes a Technology Conference to Say What Has To Be Said

For the final session, I was glad I chose the Great Recruiting Debate between Gerry Crispin and Elaine Orler. I'm glad because in part, Marc Effron touches on very similar themes in his closing keynote, which is the notion that despite that we know how to manage HR effectively, we just are not. What is truly fascinating about this, is this theme is the prominent theme to the last day of a technology conference, and that technology was not the ultimate solution to the problem. The problem is human behavior and the solution in short is changing that behavior. And to tie it back to technology, the technology is only useful in assisting with goals if the behavior is in good shape.

Case in point, during the debate Crispin relayed that he had been sending out fake resumes to posted jobs.  Posing as a candidate revealed an experience that suggested employers take the stance that because the employer has something a candidate wants, which is a job, that the candidate will do anything to get the job.  Holding this power provides an environment where 16% of companies don’t acknowledge applicant submission and 26% of companies don’t acknowledge a candidate’s rejection.  His experience suggested that recruiters were not paying attention to resume content. Crispin’s resumes contained somewhat clever clues to their falsehood however still made it through the selection process.  Moreover, at this stage of the employer-employee relationship, companies are not thinking deeply enough about experience regarding acknowledgement, providing next steps, status updates and feedback.

To Orler’s credit, she well noted that communications need to be tailored due to this type of interaction is identified with a company’s brand. It’s important for a company to understand that a rejection is a message that says, “you’re good enough to be a customer, but not good enough to be an employee.” When it comes to rejection communications, aside from definite interest and non-interest, a candidate may fall into other categories such as, they are a cultural fit but the right position is not open yet, or more over the same type of candidate is an employee referral.

Making It Harder Than It Needs To Be

The employer-candidate experience sets the stage for future employee engagement.  If it’s going wrong at this stage, it’s no surprise it goes wrong when companies need to communicate employee performance. Every company struggles with the evaluation process.  It’s an effort that requires trial and error. And not every solution is applicable to every employer.  An intriguing case study of how this worked well was presented by Marc Effron during the closing keynote.

Effron is the author of the book “One Page Talent Management” and he advised that the best employee engagement emerges from simplicity, accountability and transparency. He reasons that we confuse complexity with work and we love complexity until we have to use it. As a result, complexity is very seductive; it’s easy to create and sell.  However it is difficult to implement and maintain. Even though we know this, organizations still pursue this path. 

In “One Page Talent Management”, Effron writes:

“We already know almost everything necessary to grow great talent. Sixty years of a high-quality behavioral and industrial/organizational psychology research can help us understand how companies and employees can work best together. We understand the combination of job experiences, coaching, and formal training that is optimal for development. We know which talent practices have proven to be effective over time. In short, we already have nearly every answer needed to develop talent in our organizations.
Yet, there seems to be a gap between our knowledge of how to develop talent and our ability to actually do it. This is difficult to understand, given that most companies have an HR department and any larger companies have dedicated talent management or leadership development groups focused on precisely that task. So if our organizations want to grow talent, know how to do it, and have the resources necessary to get it done, what is not working?”

Exactly.

Why do we as employees who are all in one boat subject potential, possible and existing employees to such struggle and grief?  I think the answer is summed up from a hazing reference made by the moderator of the recruiting debate, Bill Kutik, when he said, “If I got paddled to get in, I want everyone to get paddled to get in”.  It would seem to me that even after the candidate becomes the employee, the paddling continues.

When Naomi Bloom gave the closing keynote last year, she sang, the sun will come out tomorrow. I thought that was a powerful statement to end the conference in 2009. And I think it’s reasonable to assume the sun did come out for some people.  However a year has passed and I think it’s reasonable to assume that the sun still has not come out for many people.  As a result the message from the last day this year is that there are some poor behavioral cycles that are just being repeated and that HR has a great deal of work to do to break these cycles.  Otherwise, in my mind, the sun may not come back out.

I felt challenged after last year’s HR Technology Conference to get more involved in the HR dialogue.  This year I feel challenged to make some serious changes within the workforce and the HR community.  It is time to find out what is working and what is not. If it is not working, then it is time for it to go. It is time for the sun to come back out again.

Jason's Revenge (Day 2 recap of HR Tech)

All horror movie fans know that in the first Friday the 13th movie, Jason’s mother was actually the killer. It was not until the second movie that Jason became the star and kept the series going. I mention this because it alludes to how I viewed the first two days of the HR Technology Conference.

The first day's thoughts were documented the day before; no need to repeat them here. The only point worth noting is that on the first day of the conference, I had been up since 3:30 a.m. and was jet-lagged. Chances I was a bit cranky.

The morning of the second day, I took some Airborne, took my vitamins and had a large sized coffee. So I was ramped up and ready to go. Unfortunately for me, I had some personal issues that prevented me from getting to the opening keynote on time. When I arrived, I realized that Jason Averbook had replaced Naomi Bloom in the Great Technology Debate. I walked in and they just began talking about business analytics and social collaboration. Nothing against Mr. Holincheck, but it was Jason’s comments that held my attention and made me wish that I had caught the whole thing.

After which, I felt a general sense of excitement and promise for the day. I wandered down to the expo floor. I spoke to some vendors such as Jobvite and Acquire, and caught a glimpse of some things that I thought were interesting. I took pictures of Sonar6’s booth after writing on it. I took pictures of The Monster and some person in a crazy Koala suit. (Thanks to Blogger this morning, I cannot add pictureds to this post.)

My previous post covered the morning session with Novartis. You can read about it here. For the afternoon session, I headed to the Talent Management panel hosted by Jason Averbook. It was an interesting panel made of a large companies (MetLife, CDW, McGraw-Hill, Four Seasons) talking about how their Talent Management software went wrong. It was refreshing to hear the mistakes. I think too often, there is a tendency to talk only about the grand things accomplished. Yet without the mistakes along the way, there would never have been the grand things.

As the second day came to a close, I felt it accomplished grand things. There were many reasons for this but Jason's contribution stood out for me.

Regarding the horror movie reference at the beginning of this post, the first two conference days reminded me of the first two Friday the 13th movies. In the first movie, it seemed like a mistake that the real killer was the mother in the first movie. Her character meets her demise at the end of the first one and there is no bringing her back. If they wanted to continue onward with a series, for the sequel they had to turn to Jason. As most people, I am glad it turned out that way. There was no point in just repeating the first movie. It was required to have a larger than life character to keep the audience in the seats and have them excited for the sequel.

Due to Jason, I was more pleased with day two of the conference and excited for the final installment today.