Workplace Utopia

"We are the world. We are the children."

You know this song.  Everyone does.  And if you are like me, you saw the video on MTV a zillion times in 1985.

Coincidentally enough, it was 25 years ago this month that "We Are The World" was released, and for unknown reasons I started thinking about it the other day while I was brushing my teeth.  I was not thinking about the song and the lyrics (I've never grown fond of the song).  Nor was I thinking about the top-selling performers of the time in the less-than-charming video. Nor was I thinking about the charitable notion of raising money and awareness for regional devastation and hunger. 

What I was thinking about and what has always stuck with me about the recording of the song is the notion that Quincy Jones put a sign on the outside door of the studio saying, "Leave Your Egos At The Door".

The main reason he did it is because fame is a real mind-f@%ker.  For some, the constant scrutiny from the public and the media creates undesirable personality traits, such as acute self-consciousness and superiority complexes.  Mr. Jones knew the cast of performers he recruited would be this way and thus a deterrent to achieving his goal. So, I always thought it was interesting that to get this job done, Mr. Jones felt the need to make that message known upfront. Historically, it appeared to have worked.  He was able to bring some of the most potentially egotistical (a.k.a. rock stars) people together and lead them to create an enduring piece of pop music history.

Not to say that any particular workplace is full of such dysfunction. But on occasion, it probably can be. 
So imagine what you're workplace would look like if that sign was on the door, and it was that way all the time.

Here's my guess:
No more bitterness.
No more hate.
No more loneliness.
No more jealousy.
No more selfishness.
No more fear.
No more anger.
No more pain.
No more greed.
No more prejudice.

I know this is my version of workplace utopia.  But don't you think it would be amazing to work where this occurred?

And since we're on the subject, can we please stop using the words "rock stars" to describe anyone at work?  It's not as complimentary as you might think.

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Why HR Does Not Learn

Last week, I spent three days in D.C. at SHRM's Employment Law and Legislative Conference.  My most recent posts have already mentioned this.  Mostly not rants though.  I have left that up to my pals, Michael VanDervort and Joan Ginsberg. Instead this article is about my biggest takeaways: something I learned about myself and reasons for HR not learning.

The thing I learned about myself, is that I'm not a good reporter.  I am not the type of person that can write about what is happening right now, package it up and send to the publishers for immediate consumption.  What I am is an historian.  I may immediately rant about a chicken caesar salad that takes 30 minutes to make.  But I hold fast on commenting on such matters as the Health Care Bill until such time as the dust settles, the 24-hour talking heads shut up, and the hysterical mobs go back home.  Not to say that I don't have an opinion.  It's just that I know my opinion may be wrong, so I don't hold to my conviction until the time is right.

Being the self-proclaimed historian, I have let a week pass since the opening day of the conference.  I have spent very little time online.  I've enjoyed the warm, sunny weekend.  I got some much needed sleep and my eyes are now open. And the one big takeaway that I have from the conference is I witnessed why HR does not learn. (Disclaimer: some of what I will write may be a repeat of other bloggers.  But it is worth repeating for sake of this article.)

First, on Wednesday night, there was a "networking event" for the attendees.  This was supposed to be an opportunity to meet other people. Instead it evolved into just another session with a speaker and an attentive audience.  After being glared at for speaking to each other, my small group moved into the hallway.  I spent some quality time speaking with Mary Ellen Slayter from SmartBrief's Workforce and enjoyed making the connection.  She told me what she does, I shamelessly promoted my blog, she told me about the mysterious Tacoma Park, I whined about Philadelphia and continued to shamelessly promote my blog.  The point being is that we were at a "networking event" learning more about each other.  I had just spent the last couple of hours being talked at, in which, some of the time I was engaged & other times not.  During the sessions, it's easy to turn off and daydream.  But when you're at a networking event, it requires more energy to listen.  When you're speaking to someone, you're forcing yourself to be engaged and to learn.  When the participants at a "networking event" don't rise up and revolt (or in our case, go into the hallway) and just sit there and stare at someone talking at them, you're not learning what you can from the people around you.

The second example I'd like to share is related to the session on FMLA that I attended. I came in late and accidentally sat in the "know-it-all" section.  From where I sat, I found there to be constant disruption from the audience.  It may not have been noticeable to the presenter, but when questions were asked to her, the people around my area had all the answers and expressed them out loud.  For example, I had a question that I asked the presenter.  While she was giving me the answer, there were at least two people near me that were answering me as well.  I resisted my Inner Bitch's need to tell the other people to shut up.  (I don't about you, but my brain can only process one voice at a time).  Furthermore, I felt it was a competition of people showing off their knowledge, and making others around them know that their questions will be met with condescending tones.  Frankly, this environment only breeds silence, deters further questions and teaches nothing to no one.

Two days ago, I was in a meeting at work involving internal staff and one outsider.  We all went in without a strict agenda, but with clarity and knowledge of the subject,  and came out in the end with excellent contributions and ideas exchanged by everyone.  After that meeting, I was so fired up. Not just because the end product is going to be truly awesome, I just felt as a group we really listened and learned.

So in the end, it's not that HR does not learn.  It's just that if HR is always talking trying to tell the world they know the answer, or always just sitting & staring at a speaker, instead of expending the energy to be engaged with their network or their internal and external partners, HR is not learning all it can.

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Beating A Dead Horse

If my memory serves me right, I'm sure that the subject of designated Quiet Cars on trains, or lack thereof, has already been covered by my fellow Philadelphia HR bloggers (KnowHR & Human Markets). Since those articles have not reached enough people, it’s time to say it again:

If you are on a Quiet Car: this means you are expected to BE QUIET.

Yes that means you Mr. "I’m Going To Cup My Hand Over My Cell Phone".
And you, Ms. "I Will Turn My Cell Phone Off In A Minute".
You too, Mr. "Nobody Tells Me What To Do".
And oh you too, Ms. "Personally Autonomous From The Rest Of The World".

How can this concept be more clear?  There are three signs in the car that can be seen from either side,and signs at each door.  There is an announcement over the intercom designating the quiet car. The conductor walks through and announces it. 

But yet, on my trip to D.C. from Philadelphia last Wednesday, I moved away from a woman who was listening to her voice mails on her speaker phone, and later reminded a guy who was talking on his cell phone to cease and desist. On my trip back to Philadelphia on Friday, the quiet car was a joke: the guy in front of me and across the aisle decided to talk on their cell phones, two women behind me engaged in a conversation in a normal tone, and the ticket punch guy talked out loud to every passenger.  I told the guy in front of me and the women behind me to cease and desist.  The guy across the aisle got the message from the evil eye and sigh that I sent his way. 

But what do you do about the ticket punch guy--the guy in charge here? What that’s expression: the inmates are running the asylum? 

Lately bad service has been working my last nerve.  Maybe it’s sleep deprivation.  Without sleep, humans become a little more cranky and reactive.  But this is why I needed the quiet car. I needed to get some sleep. I needed to not to have my very last nerved worked.

Instead of letting that happen, I pulled out the mp3 player, listened to Broken Bells and the new Yeasayer records, pulled out the netbook and typed out my frustration.  Frustration because each of these folks were adults, the employee who was monitoring all of this showed no accountability, and I felt compelled to spend what energy I had to express my right to have a quiet car. Plus, what was I going to do? Go to a “non-quiet” car? Or say, “stop the train I’m getting off?” 

It sucks when you're stuck with bad service. Like John Bender said, there’s nothing to do when you’re locked in a vacancy.

It doesn’t help either that this horse won’t die, and my arms are getting tired.

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Immigration Reform and the Employer

Even though, some companies may not take the issue of immigration and hiring illegal workers seriously, this session at SHRM's Employment Law and Legislative Conference this morning, may make one change their mind.

First, I want to give kudos to Stuart Brock, a managing member at HR Innovators, for conducting the best session I attended over the last 3 days. He discussed exactly what he said he would, he spoke with authority on the subject, and it was free from the fear-mongering that I have witnessed from other HR legal advisers.

As an HR professional, practicing good administrative procedures with immigration is a must. If one is not taking it seriously, here are some key points to think about:

The Obama administration has shifted the focus from prosecuting illegal workers to prosecuting those employers that hire illegal workers.  Not just owners are being targeted, but principles and officers in the companies, such as HR Managers.

It used to be, to the best of my knowledge, that you wanted to keep your I-9 folders outside of your personnel file.  This way if you were audited by one agency, such as the IRS, chances that they would contact the U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, was slim.  Not anymore.  These agencies are talking to each other.  In fact, this sharing of information between agencies is creating many of their leads for their investigations.

The use of E-Verify is still controversial.  SHRM does not endorse the use of it.  But Mr. Brock did recommend using it for his clients because they were not finding the discrepancies in the data that admittedly exist. 

Some other helpful advice that came from this session was as follows:

• Do an internal audit at least once a year internally
• Keep the number of HR representatives that fill out I-9's to a minimum and keep them regularly trained
• Civil fines are issued when there is not sufficient evidence for criminal prosecution. To determine how those are determined, one can review their enhancement matrix at www.ice.gov
• It's important to remember, using e-verify does not provide a company safe harbor from criminal fines and penalties
• To stay abreast, subscribe to the DHS rss feed if you are responsible for I-9's

One last point to make about this is that all of these rules are definitely being carried out.  In fiscal year 2008, there were roughly 500 notices of inspections of I-9's.  In July 2009 alone, 625 notices were issued.  In November 2009, 1,000 notices were issued.  According to Mr. Brock, another 1,000 more are being planned to be issued shortly. Thus, it's not enough to just casually fill out an I-9.  It's time to take eligibility to work in the U.S. much more seriously.

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Shifting Gears

Since Wednesday, I have been in D.C. for the SHRM’s Law and Legislative Conference. 

As a blogger that focuses on workplace issues, I thought this would provide me with a great amount of topics to discuss. Unfortunately, I have let my many thoughts get in the way of writing about what’s been happening here.  As a result, it’s been difficult to write a summary of some of the sessions and the experiences I have had.

On the one hand, I could write about the chicken caesar salad that took a half-hour to make at the hotel restaurant, my frustration with the Wi-Fi in the hotel and conference rooms, or the dinner I had with Mike VanDervort and Joan Ginsberg at Kramer Books.

On the other hand, I could write about the session on health care costs, in which the best one can hope for is to slow down the increases by considering self funding vs. fully funding, a good broker, a good plan design, and wellness programs.  Or I could write about how SHRM set up sessions for attendees to meet with their local congress men and women to lobby for issues that SHRM is advocating.  Or I could review all of the legislation that affects the workplace and the status of each.  Or I could write about the focus group I attended on compensation. Or I could write about the discussion led by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay on workplace flexibility. Or I could write about how the Tweeters in the session on social media after an hour listening to all the negative stories started to speak up and say enough already. Or I could write about the beautiful reception last night at the Library of Congress.

All of this is good stuff for an article or two.  But I realize that I am actually a little outside of my element right now.  I typically write on the go all the time.  But I have always put the finishing touches on my articles at home before I press, publish.   So I realize I would have definitely benefitted from having a smart phone so I could Twitter my immediate thoughts on the conference.  This would have allowed me to shift gears constantly and still micro-blog. 

But as it is, today this article is the best accumulation of the past two day’s events.  Later today though, I am committed to writing specifically on Immigration Reform and then on FMLA compliance.

I’m curious as to how this will turn out as I shift gears from casually writing from the comfort of home to writing as the scene unfolds, dealing with crappy Wi-Fi and publishing as soon as the session is over.

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Tooth Like A Hole

Take a look at these pictures:

What you see on the right of each picture is the Children's Dental Associates.  They have been in this location for many years in Philadelphia.  To the left of them in the picture is an ice cream shop that opened approximately 3 months ago.

Frankly I don't know what to think of this.  For weeks I have gone back in forth like a see-saw, or the scales of justice, trying to decide if this is right or wrong.

On the one hand, there is a dentist office for children.  They clean teeth and fix problems such as cavities.  Perhaps caused by excessive amounts of sugar.

On the other hand, there is an ice cream shop.  They serve ice cream that contains sugar.  They make concoctions of ice cream mixed with candy, such as peanut butter cups; raising the sugar content.

Both of them market themselves to children and/or parents with children. Both are trying to make a buck in this world.

Personally I've grown tired of looking at these pictures, trying to write an article that takes a stand: either on the fence or on one side or the other.  It's taken weeks just to get to this point. So I turn it over to you, WTTO readers, to answer the following questions:

Is it morally reprehensible for an ice cream shop to open here, or is the ice cream shop just exercising their inalienable rights in a free market economy?

So readers choose from the list below and leave your answers or other thoughts in the comments.

1. The ice cream shop has every right to open up a store next door to a dentist office.  This is a free market.  And barring any nuisance laws or court injunctions by historical landmark folks, there should be no complaints. 
2. Opening up an ice cream shop is definitely a cold calculated move.  Children love ice cream and candy, so you go where the children are. The choice is exploitative and grabbing the attention of easily manipulated audience.
3. Since sugar appeals to people of all ages, the ice cream ship is marketing to all ages. It is mere coincidence that it's right next door to dentist's office.

Plus, what do you think of the business decision?

1. This was a stupid business decision (parents won't allow their children to ruin their teeth that were just fixed)
2. This was a brilliant business decision (adults and children can't resist comfort food especially after traumatic experiences i.e. dentist visits, crying children.)

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Was It Something I Said? (Buddy's Lament)

Perhaps it was.  Or maybe I just walked into the wrong room.  I don’t think so.  It looks like the same room I was just in a mere four weeks ago.

In fact, four weeks ago, I was here and everyone I met was so nice.  I met this person and that person.  They were all congenial, handshakes and laughter.   There were conversations about teamwork and benefits.  By the time I left, my head was spinning so much I felt intoxicated.   I couldn’t wait to return.  When I got the call that I was being asked to return for a permanent stay, I was beside myself.  I called everyone I knew because I just landed a job.

That was when I was a "person".

Now it’s two weeks since my first day.  I am now an "employee".  My noun is different.  So is this place. My name is Buddy and this is my story.

On the morning of my first day, I walked into the office.  I told the receptionist I was here to meet with the HR representative in charge of orientation.  When the HR rep greeted me in the lobby, he indicated he had no idea who I was or why I was there.  I thought this was weird.  But I chalked it up to a small mis-communication. 

Because the HR rep couldn’t adjust his schedule for me, I sat alone in a small office with just a table and chairs. After sitting there for over an hour, I overheard my new boss outside the office speaking to the HR rep. I overheard my new boss say, “What’s he doing here?”  The HR rep replied, “It’s his first day. Didn’t you know?”  I remember convincing myself I must be mis-hearing this.

My new boss came in. He was polite but noticeably bothered.  His mood was quite different from the times we met during the interviews. All he said was, “Well let’s get you started.”  No “hi.”  No “how are you?” No “glad to see you.”

As we walked down the hall, my new boss mentions that there is no new workstation for me as of today.  For the time being, he said I can sit in one of the project rooms.  I asked when I will have my own space.  The response was, “Soon.”

On my second day, I walked in feeling a little down.  The day before was weird.  But it did not prepare me for what was going to happen next.  My boss walks into the project room and asks me if I have the memo ready for our meeting.  I replied, “I didn’t know we had a meeting.”  My boss looks at me with disgust and says, “You gotta be more prepared than this,” and walks out.  I stood there in shock with my jaw on the ground.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  It's my second day and I'm already being scolded.

By the end of my first week, I still did not have an official workstation.  I never met with the HR rep to discuss benefits or payroll schedule.  Only a few co-workers introduced themselves.  But worst of all, my boss had already expressed disappointment in my work.  I didn’t know what was expected of me initially and so I was unsure of how to make sure it didn't occur again.

I’m at the end of my second week.  I have a workstation now.  But very little else has changed.  My boss and the other co-workers barely speak to me. I’m not sure when I’m getting my first paycheck. I’m not really sure when my health insurance goes into effect.

Actually though there is something that’s changed.  When I arrived here two weeks ago, I was so happy.  Today, I feel like a fool that made the biggest mistake of his life. 
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Note: I am not Buddy.  But I know Buddies.  Perhaps you know buddies as well.  Maybe you were once a buddy yourself.  The point is, when a “person” walks into your organization, they should walk out everyday as a “person”.  If they walk out as an “employee” they may not come back. 
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This tale was inspired by my friend Fran Melmed’s article over at Free Range Communications

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Art For Art's Sake / Apology For Apology's Sake

When did experiencing great works of art, such as paintings and photographs, become more of an electrical experience than an organic one?

On a recent visit to the Philadelphia Museum of Art to see the exhibit, "Picasso and the Avant-Garde in Paris" I was stricken by the vast majority of patrons wearing headphones.  They were listening to information about the pieces in the exhibit.  Additionally, they were staring at little boxes attached to the headphones, moving in herd style from one numbered painting to another, anticipating the next direction.  I thought it was akin to watching a television show on art, but yet your physically in front of the art.

What I believe they weren't doing is personally absorbing the experience of viewing great art.  They were missing the experience of viewing, without hearing.  Paintings and photographs are not movies or television productions; They were meant to be seen.  Additionally they were meant to be discussed.  Over 90% of the people at the exhibit had headphones.  At least 90% of those folks had the headphones on their heads.  There was barely even a whisper during the time I was there; no conversation; no sharing thoughts.

I know this is a very popular way to view exhibits and I'm not saying it's wrong.  In lieu of TV and the internet, I am not surprised that people want an audio experience to supplement the visual.  But I wonder, in the attempt to satisfy one sense, are they taking away from another?

The broader question is how much are we losing in an attempt to gain more?

After our trip to the museum, my partner and I stopped at a popular Mexian-ish restaurant that we go to occasionally for a late lunch/early dinner.  It was busy as I have noticed it to be typically.  Since I noticed some booths were finishing up, I thought it would pleasant to have a seat by the window.  Even though I signified to the hostess the table I wanted, and there was an agreement that we would have to wait, the hostess gave our table to another couple.  When I complained to another hostess about not getting my table, I was met with defensiveness and no apology.

Long story short with the restaurant, a manager did apologize, got us another table by the window and took $20 off the bill.  Yet, all in all, we left after our meal with the sense that it did not matter to the restaurant if we ever returned.  The apology by the manager was fine.  But the initial lack of one from the hostess signified that we did not matter.  Why would we?  Many people came in before us, many came in after.  All appeared to be having a good time.  Business is good and there is always a whiner in the crowd, right?

It's true you can't satisfy everyone all the time.  But as a business, when you ignore the complaining customer, when does that philosophy become the start of your downfall? If you're sticking your head in the sand because revenue and profits are up, you may pop your head back up too late to realize there is no more revenue and profit.

In an attempt to absorb it all  
(trying to seat patrons quickly at a restaurant / experiencing painting by listening)
a little piece of what made something great  
(dining experience / letting just your eyes fill you with wonder)
is lost.

Without careful consideration, what is lost will remain lost forever.

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Job Candidate: Breathe...You're Not Perfect

Don't focus on the second thing I said.

Focus on the first: breathe. Breathe voluntarily and consciously.  Don’t exaggerate the motion.  Just slowly inhale while you count to ten.  Then slowly exhale while counting to ten.  Do this a couple of times until you feel your chest unclamp itself.  Do this in the car or bus on the way to an interview.  Do this while riding the elevator.  Do this while sitting in the lobby.  And if you can, do this during the interview (which is why I recommend not exaggerating the motion).

Remember oxygen is helpful.  It’s your friend.  Especially in an interview.

Breathing puts oxygen into your blood which travels to your brain.  When you’re stressed, you take in shorter than normal breaths.  The resulting lesser amount of oxygen to your brain causes the brain to have less energy.  This can alter your mood, your attention and can cause temporary forgetfulness.  You can forgot things like where your last job was and what you did there.

I don't think it's necessary to say.  But for the sake of complete clarity, forgetting that kind of stuff is not helping you.

Being overly relaxed is probably not going to help you either.  You probably shouldn't be sliding down your chair or slumping over appearing to be ready for a nap.  But calm, cool and confident rues the day.

Of course, you're nervous; money is on the line.  But trust me, breathe. You'll remember things. You'll look calm. You'll stop feeling so stressed.  Less stress translates into less worry. Less worrying translates into realizing you're not perfect.

Now you can focus on the second thing.  As you focus on that, think about how many perfect people you have met in your lifetime. None? Bingo. So why start thinking you just met some, and they are sitting across from you interviewing you?

Trust me when I say, it's better to be hopeful that your employment situation will get better.  I know it's unpleasant. But hope will let you breathe.

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A Dirty Job

It truly is the little things.  It’s the little things we say, do and write that set off ripples that turn into waves.  Waves turn to flooding.  Flooding turns to destruction.  More specifically, destruction of this blog.

I was close to letting this be the last blog entry on WTTO.  All because of two things that were said to me, by two different people.  It wasn’t the usual, “your blog sucks” comment.  The comments were more philosophical and quizzical.  I, in turn questioned myself, has it all been said? Not just by me, but by everyone?

I ponder the dialogue I witness about work on the blogosphere. How far is the reach? Who is this helping?  Why keep writing if it’s not reaching anyone?  Then again, why speak, do or write about anything at all?  

The answer I decided was we speak, do and write because of the little things.  It’s the little things that get under our skin that annoy us: like noisy neighbors, people who say they’ll call but don’t; and rude customer service.  It’s also the little things that make you glad to be alive: a smile from someone you love; kittens on YouTube; and Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts.

Doing, talking about, and writing about these little things keep us going, to push and pull our way through life. This is why we still speak to our neighbors in hopes they’ll be more understanding.  It's why we choose local diners instead of expensive restaurants, because the diner workers don’t act like they hate their jobs (and you for coming in today).  It's why we write about what is wrong in the workplace.

All of us are speaking and writing about the little things. As humans it's our job to do so.  It's not always fun.  But it's not always bad.  It most likely will leave you with some dirt under your fingernails.  Either because you encountered something disgusting.  Or because you dug in and truly accomplished something.

(some inspirational music)

The Dirty Jobs - The Who

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