After a couple days of this, my office colleague asked me if I was still grumpy (see, I was still approachable).
When I said yes, she mildly said, “Cheer up.”
To which my automatic response was “no”.
This made us both laugh, because to me it sounded like a 5-year olds response.
Last week is over and I’ve worked out what was bugging me. So you’ll find my curmudgeon personality a little less predominant and I’m back to being a little lighter in the loafers.
Though I have to say being grumpy at work, since becoming an HR person, causes me great concern. I think this comes from some old image I have of HR or "Personnel", that HR was always perky, smiling and hopeful. More so I have this image that we should always be approachable, give the sense that we could lead people back on the happy path, could always fix everyone’s skinned knees. This has even been expressed to me, “you’re in HR, you can’t be in bad mood.” I guess because if we are, who are they going to be able to rely on when they need a little pick-me-up?
It’s difficult to live up to these expectations every day. But there is just no way I’m going to be in good mood every single work day. Again, it doesn’t mean I’m going to throw a chair through a window or lay in a catatonic state on the office floor. And it doesn’t mean I can’t, or won't, do my job. It just means that I’m human. In fact, it says so on my business card.
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4 Comments:
Paul,
This is a brilliant post. It's so vulnerable and honest... I love it!
Hi Paul,
I can see your concerns but think of it this way. Being human and showing vulnerability should help you connect with the employees. Being honest and transparent by just admitting you are in a bad mood will earn you trust and all of these things create engagement. People will learn not to go to you for a pick me up, but as a trusted advisor who is human and has been there. There could even be an argument for doing your job better in a bad mood because engagement directly affects retention too! :) Thanks for an honest post!
I refer to HR's state of perpetual, plastic, perky joy as "The Happy Box." We all know people who dwell there [shudder]. My HR friends have laughingly adopted this term to describe themselves when they are being perkier than humans should be allowed. (You guys have a weird job.)
My fave HR folks are "real," so they know that I can't be superhuman either in handling issues with my team. They encourage, back up my decisions, accept well-intentioned/well-reasoned imperfection, and help me to sort out approaches when I'm stuck. I don't trust full-time Happy Box dwellers and they couldn't possibly understand humans like me.
Now, Paul, go back inside your Happy Box. Your normalcy is shifting my paradigm.
Excellent post, Paul!
You wrote words that I have said many times, and I found myself nodding while I read it. The key, as some other folks have wisely commented, is that we need to be honest and, as you nailed it, human. We can fight against the perception that we are the Party Planning Perky People who chirp and smile and have no real value beyond decorating the office for holidays (correctly without religious items, of course).
Nor should we shift into the dour, snarling, paper-shoving, form-filling, Protocol Police that can live on the Dark Side of the Happy Box (thanks, distortiongirl).
My last thought is for the people who tell others to "Cheer up!" - oooo, nothing tightens the belt on my cranky-pants than being told that. If you really cared about me, you'd ask if you could help or you'd just respect me and move on. But what those people care about is themselves and how YOU are affecting them. Call a waah-mbulance and leave me be until I get myself in a better place.
Good stuff, Paul!
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