I Say Yes To The Dress

Can you show me that you love your job? How would I recognize it?

If you were to tell me, how would I know to believe you?

Two cases in point:

A friend of mine took a new job a couple of months ago. She says her boss has asked her more than once, "do you like the new job?"  My friend says she tells her boss unenthusiastically, “sure.” Granted the friend took the job knowing she was over-qualified, but was looking for a job with less responsibility than her last job.  For the most part what she does has value but is repetitive and without creativity.  She doesn't love the job.  But she doesn't hate it either.  My friend rhetorically asks me, "What is there to love?"  Furthermore, she thinks her boss is asking "do you like the job?" so much because the boss wants to hear "yes, I love it very much."  My friend could tell her boss a million times that she loves it but it probably would not make any difference.  The words would probably not ring true.

The second case in point comes from my recent trip to NYC.  While wandering down 21st Street in Chelsea last Saturday afternoon, my partner blithely points out Kleinfeld's storefront. I was not aware what Kleinfeld's was.  But I knew about  TLC's show Say Yes To The Dress.  It's a TV show that follows women and their families choosing wedding dresses.  It's a simple concept and it appeals to my sense of watching ordinary people struggle with making sense of the surreal. In this case, weddings. Say Yes To The Dress is coincidentally filmed at Kleinfeld's.

My partner hesitated on going in.  But I suggested we should poke our heads in anyway. Why not? Right? We walked in and were greeted with genuine warmth from the two ladies at the front counter much too our surprise.  It would seem that they would be snooty: they are filming a TV show and obviously neither of us are buying a dress.  Yet they treated us as if we were the only two people in the store, and that they had not one customer in months. Contrarily, the lobby was packed.  On Saturdays they have over 90 appointments and 10 walk-ins.  It was also the late part of the afternoon.  I was sure they would be closing soon.  Plus they were filming the show that day.  No matter, we explained we love the show and just wanted to poke our heads in.  Instead of being rude, they took us on a tour of the entire shop: through the showroom, through alterations, shoes, buttons, ironing, past racks and racks of wedding dresses.  Past women looking at themselves; their families looking at them. Past camera people and lighting stands, saying hi or waving to everyone along the way.  It was great fun.

And it was done on their part with genuine joy.  When I expressed to them my surprise as to how they treated us, the response was, we love it here and we love to show everyone how much we love it here.  This could not have been truer: the look in their eyes, the sound of their voice, their unwavering friendliness and openness to two total strangers said it all.  I knew they were not just giving me lip service.

Returning back to my friend and her new job, I know where she works and I've never known anyone to be happy there.  Where she works, if you asked the question, do you love it and do you want to show everyone how much you love it, the answer would probably be a resounding no. It’s really too bad.  We spend most of our waking lives at work and with people who are not our loved ones.  Granted some people can be friends but for the most part you are surrounded by people who are not of your choosing.  Work should be hard, but not without heart. Work should be taxing, but not tax filled.  Work should be a place that is not your home, but you still love to go to.

So what is so different between my friend’s workplace and Kleinfeld’s? Maybe the answer is in the clothes.  It's strange I can't help but notice that where my friend works they wear a lot of suits.  Maybe that's the source of their unhappiness.  Maybe not.  Nevertheless, I think we can all learn from a place like Kleinfeld’s. To be happy like a bride on their wedding day, maybe we just need to say yes to the dress.