The Art Of Keeping Your Mouth Shut

Saturday, November 14, 2009 - by: Paul Smith
Well here it is: the moment of truth.
(Is this where they separate the men from the boys?)
I fretted away most of the day in an offhand way ... thinking about the pain behind my eyes & the blank page in front of me. Well it's not really blank & it's not really a page. They actually are miscellaneous words typed on a bright screen made of plastic. And I am at a lost for coherent sentences.

So what's the big deal? Well it's because three days ago, no one knew this blog existed. Then I open my mouth on HRhappyhour & Kris Dunn mentions my blog and BAM!...ears are now pricked.

I am definitely not complaining in any way shape or form. (Thanks a million, Kris) I love attention.

But I'm feeling duty calling now for the future. And I better get cracking and think of something to say. NOW!

This angst over my brain freeze was furthermore not helped by being witness to a recent Tweet-versation (yes, I'm making up words now)about how often should bloggers post, why they don't post anymore & when should you unsubscribe if they are not posting. (Oh jeez!)

After the angst past, my thought was that it's solely a personal preference based on: who posted the blog (Barack Obama or Paul Smith); what were they talking about (HR matters or the pain behind their eyes); does it fit into your schedule (quick to the point or, Come on, already!)

If you have not gathered by now, I'm a Gen-X'er. (BTW: I'm the only one allowed to label myself). Which means I'm a certain age. As a kid, we had 5 TV channels. The TV news was not 24 hours. The "computer" played pong.

There exists now in my house a constant hum. It's my modum, router, the NAS server, the cable box, the Roku/Netflix box, the receiver on standby and a computer is on more than off in this house. The only time there is real silence in this house is when we go out of town for more than a day; I unplug everything.

Sometimes I miss the silence.

But I'm caught up in the slipstream of internet chatter & more home entertainment options than can be consumed in a lifetime. As much as I enjoy it, I think sometimes it's such a pleasure to having nothing to say. (Well maybe not today)

I reminded myself that sometimes it's better that way.

How many times in your life have you thought, I should have just not said anything?Since I never learn, this happens to me more times than I'd care to admit.

But as Human Resources goes (so much for quick to the point) this is definitely an art form. Good HR people are good silence artisans because:

1) We promote the idea at work, if you have nothing good to say about someone, don't say anything at all. We understand the value of that socially and legally.

2) We also promote the benefit of the doubt. Just because someone is silent, we know that it's not because there is nothing to say. Sometimes people don't know what to say, when to say it or who to say it to. We let those folks know that when that times comes, we are there for them.

3) We are also the keeper of secrets, whether it be something as simple as a home address or as complex as a medical issue.

In modern society, being this artisan is getting harder. As an HR person, it's not enough just to be a SHRM member. To stay current you have to enter the slipstream of social media stuff. Which comes down to: talk, talk, talk. It's very tempting to never stop talking. Not to mention, HR people are by nature some of the biggest talkers I have ever met.

So if you are an HR blogger, don't worry about what, when & how often. And if you're a reader, stay...just a little bit longer and remind yourself: you're supporting the arts.
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2 Comments:

Joan Ginsberg said...

A thoughtful post, Paul. I agree that silence IS golden, and that it is sometimes a rare and precious commodity in this modern age. But I also think that there needs to be a balanced approach, because silence can be harmful too.
The question is - when is silence a substitute for fear or mistrust or futility, instead of being a vehicle for discretion or reflection?

1. Many employees refuse to engage their HR pros specifically because they see them as corporate hacks. The HR pro just isn't trusted. I would much rather listen to an employee make silly complaints 3 times a week than to not ever hear from them at all. If I never hear from them at all, they probably think I'm useless.

2. While there are times when we all wished we had said nothing, there are just as many times, I think, we wish we had. I am thinking specifically of Nidal Hasan right now and wondering if some of his co-workers are wishing they had complained more vigorously when they knew he was unbalalnced. Perhaps precious lives would have been saved. Workplace violence, sexual harassment, alcoholism, etc. are never served by silence. Silence is the enemy of these issues.

3. As part of the Twitter stream about infrequent bloggers, let me assure you that we weren't referring to you - or anyone like you. Your last post was -- 3 days ago? I started using Google Reader in July, and there are blogs that I subscribe to that have NEVER been posted to. If one is limiting the number of feeds they have, a blog that is never written is a waste of space. Sharlyn asked the question "when do you know if someone has abandoned their blog?" What do you think? When DO you know when another post is never going to come? If someone is going through circumstances that prevent them from writing, can they say once in a while "cat died. can't write"? Maybe once a month or so? Silence without reason, that is just lack of communication, isn't helpful.

I'm a baby boomer, so I feel justified to play the "my pain is greater than your pain" game with you. ;-) When I was a kid there was no pong; it was unheard of. You watched "Wizard of Oz" once a year on a black and white TV when the network ran a big special. It was a big deal. I grew up in a white lower class city where the only values and culture I knew were on my own block. It was quiet, but I think the noise today is so much more amazing and marvelous.

Keep writing; we'll wait a while.

Joan

November 15, 2009 11:34 PM
Pasmuz of WTTO said...

Joan,

Thanks for taking the time out to respond. It is greatly appreciated. Your counter point that silence can be dangerous as well is a very valid point & I love the first two examples.

I think if someone hasn't posted for a year, they are done blogging. Someone I used to follow fondly was HR Wench. When she was done, her last blog posting was a sign off. I file that under great communication.

BTW I never thought that the "twit-versation" applied to me. (I'm thinking Carly Simon right now). I alone let it into my temporary writing block. But as you can see, it turned into an inspiration.

One last point, I see a future Twitter hashmark: #genxpain ;-)

Thanks again for contributing.

November 16, 2009 9:32 AM

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